Megalopolis (2024)

Direction: Francis Ford Coppola
Country: USA 

After more than 40 years in development, Francis Ford Coppola finally unveils Megalopolis, an ambitious sci-fi epic he largely financed himself. The idea for this eccentric, dense film came to Coppola during the making of Apocalypse Now, raising high expectations. However, despite its long gestation, Megalopolis unfolds as a bloated soap-opera-like spectacle that struggles under the weight of its convoluted themes and sprawling subjects.

The story follows Cesar Catilina (Adam Driver), a brilliant yet enigmatic visionary with a controversial past and the ability to stop time. His grand ambition is to construct a utopian “city of the future” in New Rome. However, his dream faces fierce opposition from the city’s conservative mayor, Franklyn Cicero (Giancarlo Esposito), while he finds both love and support in Cicero’s daughter, Julia (Nathalie Emmanuel), a medical school dropout.

Though the film nods to cinematic classics like Brazil (1985), Metropolis (1927), and Dark City (1998), it feels soulless. Despite the weighty themes of political struggle, futuristic utopia, and satirical pop culture, the film feels surprisingly naive, a grab bag of ancient sci-fi ideas and plastic performances that fail to provoke. Copolla dedicated the film to his late wife but Megalopolis is already seen as the greatest disappointment of the year.

My First Film (2024)

Direction: Zia Anger
Country: USA

In My First Film, filmmaker Zia Anger, known for her music videos for alternative singer/songwriter Mitski, ventures into meta-cinema by reflecting on the failure of her first feature attempt. The story starts off pleasurably introspective with an indie vibe, but gradually burns our patience with redundant scenes that go around in circles. At 100 minutes, it feels much longer, and for good reason—the narrative gradually loses its grip, spiraling into a disappointing, self-indulgent conclusion. 

While some experimentalism is welcomed, and Australian actress Odessa Young does the best she can, the film becomes so taken with itself, that we have no option but disconnect from it. Is this a personal diary, a therapeutic hallucination, a fictional whim, or a cry for help? Perhaps all of the above. And it’s not incoherence that drags the film down but rather its exhausting execution, which ultimately fails to make us care about the characters. 

Anger, who briefly appears in the movie to thank her actress (or herself), showcases boldness that could bear fruit in future projects. But for now, I’ll have to pass on these supposedly dovetailed ideas about artistic creation and gestation as sometimes sitting through this film feels like chewing on cardboard—bland and disengaging, with both joy and sorrow strangely out of reach.

Longlegs (2024)

Direction: Oz Perkins
Country: USA

Written and directed by Oz Perkins, the elder son of late actor Anthony Perkins, famous for his role as Norman Bates in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho (1960), Longlegs is a dry horror thriller tinged with occult malignancy that, despite its enticing premise, doesn’t hold up in the end. The film stars Maika Monroe and Nicolas Cage, who also produced.

The plot centers on the sleepless, cold, and often absent-minded FBI agent Lee Harkin (Monroe), the only person who seems capable of solving a series of massacres involving entire families as she’s gifted with psychic abilities. The perpetrator, known as Longlegs (Cage), is a satan worshiper who likes to leave coded messages based on complex algorithms next to the victims. What is more intriguing about him is that there are never any signs of forced entry into the houses. 

Longlegs rings hollow, quickly melting as its banal plot is unveiled. It is a sluggish exercise in horror that stands on its feet in its first half, just to nose-diving into the abyss in the second. The gloomy side of things is there, but thrills don’t abound, and it’s all too predictable toward a bland ending deliberately left open for a possible sequel. While Monroe stands out for her credible introspective temperament, Cage, looking like a cross between a decrepit heavy-metal legend and the Joker, delivers very few moments of creepiness. 

Films like Seven (1995) and The Silence of the Lambs (1991) may come to mind, but Longlegs is miles away from them in many crucial aspects, including originality. It’s all surface psychodramatics, sporadically watchable yet mostly inert. Hence, quickly forgettable.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)

Direction: Wes Ball
Country: USA

This obscenely produced 10th installment in The Planet of the Apes franchise introduces a new hero having to endure trials to grow. Wes Ball, known for The Maze Runner trilogy, directed from a screenplay by Josh Friedman (War of the Worlds, 2005), and counted on Owen Teague, Kevin Durand, and Freya Allan in central roles.

While visually splendorous, showcasing grandiose empires built on ruins and impressive CGI scenes of attack and destruction, the film fails to deliver an inventive narrative and staging. This type of lavish fantasy is no more a cinematic provocation, generally falling short of excitement and occasionally resorting to sentimental bait. 

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes loses substance, relying on reheated formulas disguised as modernistic ideas throughout its quicksilver flow. With so many issues permeating the story, the kingdom of the apes sinks like the Titanic. Our response to the apes’ sad fate, once touched by authentic tragedy, is now marked by relief that this chapter is over.

Monkey Man (2024)

Direction: Dev Patel
Country: USA / Canada / India

Dev Patel, the star of Slumdog Millionaire (2008), makes his directorial debut with Monkey Man, which he co-wrote with Paul Angunawela and John Collee. He also stars as the title character, a traumatized fighter seeking revenge for his mother's death. Jordan Peele, the director of Get Out (2017) and Nope (2022), is among the production credits, and the talented tabla player Zakir Hussein, known for his collaborations with jazz musicians, is part of the cast alongside Sharlto Copley, Vipin Sharma, and Sikandar Kher.

This neo-noir action thriller inevitably draws comparisons to John Wick and The Raid, but transports its violent rampages to India, encompassing themes such as poverty, caste injustices, discrimination of the Hijra community, cult of personality, and corruption. 

Behind the camera, Patel doesn't offer much originality beyond the specific cultural context. While the stunts are choreographed with wild athleticism, the relentless violence is exhausting, and the plot remains rudimentary. Watching this bloated and overlong film can feel as enjoyable as sitting on a cactus. 

There's unquestionably an audience here, and the film isn't completely terrible. It is just rather monotonous as the flimsy story fails to support the dramatic weight envisioned by its creators.

Lost Soulz (2024)

Direction: Katherine Propper
Country: USA

Lost Soulz, a low-key documentary-style road trip drama infused with hip-hop dreams, repressed guilt, and painful loss, marks the directorial debut of Austin-based filmmaker Katherine Propper. Featuring real-life Gen-Z dreamers, the film showcases ambition but struggles with narrative immaturity and editing issues.

Rapper and social media influencer Sauve Sidle portrays Sol, who leaves his unconscious, drug-addicted best friend behind to hit the road with a group of hip-hop musicians heading to West Texas. As expected, not everything goes smoothly, especially when emotional stability is fragile and drug use is involved.

Sol's guilt and inner conflict are not sufficiently emphasized, shifting the focus to the fun and minor tensions within the teenage group, resulting in repetitive scenes. Some characters are underdeveloped, while others stand out for their charisma. The movie’s final segment is the strongest, ending on a touching note.

You find yourself wanting to like what you see. Yet, Lost Soulz is more to be admired than enjoyed, with noticeable choppiness where fluidity was needed.

Challengers (2024)

Direction: Luca Guadagnino
Country: USA

Renowned Italian director Luca Guadagnino, whose work first came to the public’s attention with Call Me By Your Name (2017), probes a new hype style with calculated punchiness in his latest feature, Challengers, a meretricious and manipulative sports-meet-romance undertaking with a lackluster conclusion. 

Written by Justin Kuritzkes, making his screenwriting debut after gaining recognition as a playwright, Challengers stars Zendaya, Josh O’Connor, and Mike Faist in a tale of toxic relationships set against the backdrop of professional tennis. While emotional complexity, betrayal, rivalry, friendship, and sports pressure are intertwined in a non-linear narrative, the director struggles to overcome the challenges posed by this explosive mix. The tennis scenes are well-executed, but the love triangle feels like a mere curiosity, with insufficient dramatic motivation and coming across an oversexed triviality with soap opera traits. 

Additionally, the original score by Nine Inch Nails’ members Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross can be intrusive at times, and the finale, while intense, seems too fabricated. Ultimately, despite the promising setup, Challengers fails to fully capitalize on its potential. I don’t see it as a very grown up movie, and was craving for more clever twists in the plot. These charming threesome never hit the ball with enough ability to make it over the net.

Seagrass (2024)

Direction: Meredith Hama-Brown
Country: Canada

Seagrass, the directorial feature debut by Canadian actress Meredith Hama-Brown, is an uneven family drama centered on a decaying marital relationship exacerbated by recent loss. Rather than committing to a specific mood, the film explores various emotional territories, constantly obsessed with trauma both within both adult and youth realms. Hama-Brown also infuses a supernatural element in the story that fails to resonate.

In the wake of her mother’s death, Judith (Ally Maki), a Canadian of Japanese descent, and her husband Steve (Luke Roberts) seek marital therapy at a coastal retreat in British Columbia. Taking their two daughters - Stephanie (Nyha Huang Breitkreuz) and Emmy (Remy Marthaller) - with them, they still manage to find time to hang with regulars Pat (Chris Pang) and Carol (Sarah Gadon), who love to offer a bit of advice about everything. 

The doubts, confused feelings, and deep-seated disconnection that keep tormenting the lead character are valid, but Seagrass lacks groundbreaking originality, ultimately concluding on a disconsolately vague note after a powerful premise. Infrequently compelling, the film struggles with fabricated scenes and artificial musical moments, which only serve to heighten melodrama in a plot that simply doesn’t know where to go.

The Palace (2023)

Direction: Roman Polanski
Country: Switzerland / Italy / other

From the acclaimed director Roman Polanski, whose filmography includes gems such as Repulsion (1965), Chinatown (1974), Rosemary’s Baby (1968), and The Pianist (2002), comes The Palace, an oddball satire that starts off well but sloppily falls into a wild intemperance pelted with flat humor, bubbly champagne, and too much caviar for my taste. Set in the luxurious Gstaad Palace hotel in the Swiss Alps on December 31, 1999, Polanski’s 24th feature film follows a cast of wealthy and eccentric characters as they gather for the millennium amid fears of the Y2K bug. They range from socialites and aristocrats with abhorrent faces from plastic surgeries to broke tycoons showing off diva postures to rowdy heavy-drinking Russians with no principles.

The hotel’s dedicated manager demands politeness, precision, and perfection from his staff, only to get trouble, embarrassment, and eccentricity from the arrogant and selfish customers. Caught between a brainless parody and a more observant satire, The Palace works more in the line of The Triangle of Sadness (2022) than The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014). Hence, despite wrecking you with luscious hues, the film’s scenes are often overindulgent and lacking in moderation. While some viewers may find humor in its zany antics, others may roll their eyes. 

Gone are Polanski's signature style and wit, replaced by repetitive gags and scenes that feel more grating than gratifying. We understand it was all created with mockery in mind. However, there are so many aspects that failed to work properly in this disjointed comedy. The international ensemble cast includes Fanny Ardant, Mickey Rourke, John Cleese, and Oliver Masucci.

Club Zero (2024)

Direction: Jessica Hausner
Country: Austria / other

Austrian helmer Jessica Hausner, who impressed us with a religion-themed arthouse drama called Lourdes (2009), returns with Club Zero, a dark fable hinged on a one-person cult promoting autophagy at a private boarding school. Co-written by Hausner and Géraldine Bajard, the film follows Miss Novak (Mia Wasikowska), a rigorous teacher turned guru, as she introduces a dangerous concept to emotionally vulnerable students, touching on themes of faith, manipulation, willpower, and societal pressures. Other inherent topics include faulty parenthood and unsupervised classes and methods. 

While the material holds potential, the film, even with something ominous churning under the surface at all times, falls short of expectations. Built with minimalistic composed settings, stiff arthouse postures, and bitter tones, Club Zero misses opportunities to take us to more terrifying territory, preferring instead a quiet defiance that feels flat in the end. 

Hausner demonstrates a morbid precision in her exploration of contemporary neuroses, and yet, the picture rests in a muzzy middle where observation and absurdity are practically indistinguishable. Club Zero is a failure, but an intriguing one.

The Teacher's Lounge (2023)

Direction: Ilker Çatak
Country: Germany

In The Teachers’ Lounge, Ilker Çatak’s fourth feature film, a well-intentioned yet naive young teacher, Carla Nowak (Leonie Benesch), finds herself entangled in a troubling situation spurred by a series of thefts at the German public school where she works. This skewed drama unfolds with a growing sense of discontent, occasionally adopting the intensity of a thriller.

Carla embarks on a clandestine investigation using questionable methods, only to discover a flawed scholar system, racial prejudice, and persistent manipulative tactics that hinder genuine problem-solving. The film captures her traumatic experience in a parent-teacher conference, and her difficulties in dealing with pressure from both cynical colleagues and aggressive students.

While the film raises thought-provoking questions about truth and justice, it refrains from providing definitive answers. Despite its noble intention to address contemporary classroom issues, the narrative loses momentum after a promising start, falling into the category of films that are admired more than enjoyed.

In reality, there's an element of outrage in this indirect call to civility, but the film feels somewhat slick and gimmicky. Moments with a stronger sense of real-life authenticity are juxtaposed with others featuring mannered dialogues and postures, causing the narrative to get bogged down in details. The Teachers’ Lounge could have been more involving, given its potential. 

Napoleon (2023)

Direction: Ridley Scott
Country: USA 

Ridley Scott's Napoleon attempts to capture both the epic military achievements and personal relationships of one of history's most powerful figures, starring Joaquin Phoenix as the French emperor and Vanessa Kirby as Empress Josephine. Known for his prowess in historical dramas, Scott's latest endeavor falls short in grasping the complexity of Napoleon's rise and fall.

The film delves into the events that shaped Napoleon's trajectory, offering a reductive, almost anecdotal vision of his life. While the rough combat scenes stand out as the film's most attractive aspect - the bloody battles against the Russians are potentiated by gloomy undertones and Martin Phipps’ tenebrous score - the overall narrative comes across as disjointed and superficial. 

Even cinematically rewarding in terms of carefully framed shots (the evocative cinematography is by Dariusz Wolski), what we experience is lifelessness. Phoenix's portrayal of Napoleon oscillates between bravery and vulnerability, mirroring the film's own conflicted nature. The lack of a personal perspective also prevents the film from delving into something bolder. 

To make matters worse, Phoenix and Kirby have no chemistry, and the film's energy fizzles out before reaching its conclusion. Abel Gance successfully tackled Napoleon's story in 1927, but Scott's adaptation is another missed opportunity to explore the complexities of France's most significant military commander and historical ruler.

The Royal Hotel (2023)

Direction: Kitty Green
Country: Australia

Julia Garner and Jessica Henwick star in The Royal Hotel, an Australian psychological thriller co-written and directed by Kitty Green, a documentarian whose career reached a pinnacle four years ago with the unforgettable fictional drama The Assistant (2019). Not as strong, her new dramatic effort centers on two Canadian best friends - the disquieted Hanna (Garner) and the undisturbed Liv (Henwick) - who experience a toxic male environment while working in a remote pub in the Australian outback. The tension comes from intoxicated men, dubious in their intentions and desperately searching for attention. They repeatedly pose a threat to them.

Green proves she can build up an atmosphere, but this story needed twists to shake things off a bit. The Royal Hotel is ultimately more about mood than action, and it never really takes off, settling into a familiar routine despite the underlying tension. It’s exceptionally confident in the tone it wants to set, but not as much in the story it wants to develop. The pace is slow-burn, the mood positively throbs with anxiety, and the film sways drunkenly towards an abrupt conclusion. Too bad the provocative premise wasn’t more fully explored. 

The cinematography by Michael Latham has an exciting, alive quality despite the dusky tonality of the long nights captured in camera, but if you're seeking horror, thrills, or stimulation, this may not be the film for you.

Fair Play (2023)

Direction: Chloe Domont
Country: USA

This erotic psychological thriller, directed by Chloe Dumont in her directorial feature debut, starts with a bang, has a tense middle part, but heavily stumbles in the final act. Written by the American director, Fair Play dissects a couple’s relationship that becomes toxic when Emily (Phoebe Dynevor) snags the coveted promotion that was expected to go to her colleague and secret fiancé, Luke (Alden Ehrenreich). Both of them work in a demanding Manhattan hedge fund led by Campbell (Eddie Marsan), the cold, insensitive, and sometimes ruthless CEO who treats them disparately. Seeing enormous potential in Emily, he completely snubs Luke.

The film delves into the limits of ambition, exploring psychological abuse and toxic masculinity within the backdrop of a gripping corporate setting. Although it can be a positive viewing experience for some, it grapples with several issues, particularly in the emotional department. The cynicism sometimes masks itself as profound revelation, and the storyline can feel somewhat familiar, eventually losing momentum in its final stretch. However, Dumont's timing remains sharp, and her portrayal of the tense corporate atmosphere is disturbingly convincing.

While the characters’ transgressions are intentional, cruel, and punishable, the story is sustained by the mechanics of rivalry, ambition, fragility, exclusion, and jealousy. Fair Play is a love story in much the same way that Kramer vs. Kramer is a comedy. It touches a nerve with topics such as abusive corporation treatment and sexual harassment. However, it falls short of realizing its full potential, with a conclusion that doesn't quite measure up to the rest of the narrative.

Bottoms (2023)

Direction: Emma Seligman
Country: USA 

Although exhibiting a proper tonal consistency and acted with intentness, Emma Seligman’s sophomore feature, Bottoms, fails short of the wit and tension showcased in her directorial debut, Shiva Baby (2020). It’s not that the characters lack empathetic eccentricity, but rather that the director amplifies the imbecility in the last quarter to the point of sacrificing any potential subtlety for depthless. 

The story, co-written by Seligman and Rachel Sennott - who also stars - revolves around two unpopular teenage gay girls and best friends: PJ (Sennott) and Josie (Ayo Edebiri). They initiate a feminist self-defense fight club at Rockbridge Falls High School, not necessarily to protect themselves from the giant male football players, but to woo the hot cheerleaders they’ve set their sights on. While the shy Josie is smitten with Isabel (Havana Rose Liu), the outgoing PJ is charmed by Brittany (Kaia Gerber). Amidst unorthodox fight and defense tactics, they learn to share their traumas. 

Alternating between crude rebelliousness and soapy tenderness, the film races through the scenes with sharp-tongued cheekiness, a loud-and-brash posture, and pathetic behavior. It’s off-the-wall and carries an energetic vibe that injects dynamism. However, it often feels forced in its subversiveness and becomes quite dull on occasion, seemingly detached from reality as it favors a puerile absurdity. While most of the jokes are satisfying, only a couple truly land as clever jabs.

Bottoms provides gay-themed material aimed at teens with a level of insight that rarely rises above standard parody. It didn’t resonate with me, but at least the cast appears to have had a blast in this feminist celebration of love, youth, and friendship.

Landscape With Invisible Hand (2023)

Direction: Cory Finley
Country: USA 

From Cory Finley - the director of Bad Education (2019) and Thoroughbreds (2017) - comes Landscape With Invisible Hand, an offbeat sci-fi romantic comedy drama with fitting social commentary but grappling with an uneven narrative pulse. The film, an adaptation of M.T. Anderson's novel of the same name, ventures down devious pathways, losing track of a potential cinematic provocation due to storytelling veering into self-indulgence and characters who often feel emotionally distant. It’s also visually restrained for a futuristic tale.

While the film doesn't falter on every level, boasting occasional successful black humor and delightful tensions between families, it generally lacks soul and struggles to connect with the theme of an alien seeking entertainment through teenage love. 

The director, concerned with charting trajectories of human subjugation and alien ascendancy, remains on the surface, weaving a crass hodgepodge of elements that don’t fully coalesce. However, respectable performances by Asante Blackk, Kylie Rogers, and Tiffany Haddish were a positive surprise, and that paid off in places.

The Origin of Evil (2023)

Direction: Sébastien Marnier
Country: France 

The Origin of Evil is a petty comedic thriller with an ostentatious profusion of pretenses. Following Faultless (2016) and School’s Out (2018), writer-director Sébastien Marnier delivers another story centered on class defectors that lures one in at an early stage, keeping the audience on edge with a tight mysterious grasp until everything is suddenly revealed. Afterward, it falls into pure thriller routine with no smarts.

Equipped with a great cast but in need of better editing, the film follows Nathalie (Laure Calamy), a modest young woman who decides to meet her estranged, wealthy father (Jacques Weber) for the first time. Battling illness, this man lives controlled by his wife (Dominique Blanc), a compulsive consumerist; his arrogant daughter (Doria Tillier), who took over his businesses; and a constantly vigilant housekeeper (Véronique Ruggia). Although highly caricatured, not a single character is likable. 

Affected by the imposter syndrome, this is the kind of film where you cannot find a trace of honesty, and you know it beforehand. The director employs a bunch of deceits as narrative propellers, but the film, paralyzed by aloofness, runs out of ideas fairly quickly, leaving us with a general feeling that not everything is quite clicking the way it could have. I found myself struggling to find the laughs while observing avid women battling one another fiercely for dominance and acceptance.

The Lost King (2023)

Direction: Stephen Frears
Country: UK 

Although historically interesting, The Lost King is academic in many aspects, which is upsetting since it comes from Stephen Frears, an experienced director whose major works include Philomena (2013), The Queen (2006), Dirty Pretty Things (2002), and Dangerous Liaisons (1988). Stumbling in a faulty staging, this classically crafted film inspired by an incredible true story, tries too hard to please the audience, but it shrieks as it aims for that middle bar that pushes everything into comedic context. 

This is the story of Philippa Langley (Sally Hawkins), a mother of two with chronic fatigue syndrome whose determination and subjective intuition lead her to the spot where the cursed King Richard III was buried. His body had never been found since his disappearance in the Battle of Bosworth Field in 1485. Guided by passion and obsession, and having fleeting dialogues with the ghost of the king (Harry Lloyd) while roaming through the streets of Edinburgh, she succeeded where many have failed.

Steve Coogan, who also stars as the protagonist’s supportive ex-husband, co-wrote this infinitely modest autobiographical drama with Jeff Pope, never missing an opportunity to adorn the situations with a dash of British humor. 

The dragging first half makes it harder for us to fully enjoy what comes next, and by the time the story reaches its climax, all my excitement has been drained away. All those cynical opportunists, tough sponsors, and difficult excavations don’t emanate enough tension, with Frears struggling to give a consistent rhythm to the storytelling as well as to find a distinctive style. One of those cases where the tedium outweighed the anticipation.

Earth Mama (2023)

Direction: Savanah Leaf
Country: USA 

Savanah Leaf’s directorial feature debut is based on the documentary short The Heart Still Hums, which she co-directed in 2020 with Taylor Russell. It’s a spare bleak drama that, despite a few moments of genuine pathos, plunges into monotone melodramatic waters as the story moves forward. 

The plot focuses on the 24-year-old Gia (Tia Nomore), a single mother and former addict in recovery, who is expecting a third child while having the other two in foster care. In constant financial struggle, Gia considers giving her baby for adoption, meeting with a potential foster family that could give her child the stability she cannot. However, her indecision is considerably augmented by her conservative best friend (Doechii), who is also pregnant. 

We’ve seen this topic many times, which sets a high bar for the director. Her efforts end up being unsubstantial as the possibilities of the story become narrow. The script feels thoroughly scattershot at times, especially in dealing with its characters, and lacks the subtlety that might have made them more interesting. In addition to a quite impersonal staging, there’s this sluggish pace impeding the narrative flow.

Some moments of emotional truth within the uneven parts don’t avoid a forgettable whole that translates into a minimalist procession of despair with an overall mediocre payoff. There’s simply not enough material for a feature here.

Stars at Noon (2023)

Direction: Claire Denis
Country: France / Panama / other

French director Claire Denis, who gave us unique moments of cinema with Beau Travail (1999), White Material (2009) and High Life (2018), based herself on the 1986 novel The Stars at Noon by Denis Johnson for this new drama/thriller of the same name. In it, a young American journalist, Trish (Margaret Qualley), is stranded in Nicaragua with no money and no passport. To survive, she resorts to a police subtenant (Nick Romano) and the vice-minister of tourism (Stephan Proaño), to whom she offers sexual favors in exchange for money. With important elections approaching, they promise to help her leave the country but with no practical effect. That’s when she meets Daniel (Joe Alwyn), an English businessman working for an oil company. This man could be her last chance or her ruin. 

Stretched to two hours and a half, this monomaniacal film is sporadically intriguing, yet its overweening cynicism leaves a curdled aftertaste. There’s lack of detail in the political and corporational considerations and the romance is too indolent to convince. The actors, who are not to blame, sink into the swamp of good intentions because the film sort of trivializes what would be a terrible reality. 

By generating some cheesy and sticky do-or-die tension, Denis makes it hard for us to take this story seriously. The thrills are not strong enough to push us to the edge of our seat. The one-dimensional characterization and a dead-earnest execution soon put an unusual spin on a story where nearly every beam that strives to hold it together collapses. But perhaps the biggest problem of all is that there's nothing here we haven't seen before.